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  “But, Jake…”

  He stood up, pacing around the porch. “Bethany, you need to leave.”

  Bethany rose stood as close to him as she could. “You’ll call, Jake. You always do. You even called me after your little trollop first got here. You’ll come back to me again.”

  That was it, that snapped the leash he’d been keeping on his temper. “Trollop? Are you serious? How dare you! You lying, manipulative bitch. You came out here, lied about Jess, using years of friendship to make me believe you. Understand this—I don’t love you. I never will. Hell, I don’t even like you! Get off my land, get out of my life and never, never come back!”

  Chapter 31

  Everyone had heard Jake roaring, effectively bringing a hush across the crowd. Mike and Cody both headed over, grabbing her arms and getting Bethany out of there before there was more of a scene than they’d already witnessed.

  Jake saw his mom heading his direction and turned to head back in the house. He figured one good scene per day was more than sufficient.

  People were already starting to resume their conversations. Jake’s temper was nothing new, so when they realized the show was over, they were perfectly willing to ignore it. At least until the party was over. After that, he was sure he'd be the talk of the town.

  When his mom followed him into the house, closing and locking the door behind her, he was not at all surprised. Catherine Morgenstern, or Cat as she was known, stood in front of him, hands on her hips, giving him a long hard look before she spoke.

  “So, she’s not the one that broke your heart, is she?”

  Jake shook his head no, then started nodding instead, finally shrugging his shoulders. “Sort of, but not the way you think. I thought I was hiding it pretty well. Guess not, huh?”

  Cat laughed, placing her hand on his shoulder and hopped up to sit on the kitchen island. “Jake, honey, it shines through brighter than sunshine. Besides, I still know people, and people still talk.”

  He looked up, shock and horror both running through him. “You know about Jess?”

  His mom shrugged. “A little, although I didn’t have a name. Just that she was a pretty brunette. I guess that one could have fit the description, minus that God-awful bleached hair. But the conversation didn’t seem quite right.”

  “I’m sorry. I guess I should’ve told you. I was planning to propose. Before things… I was hoping to introduce you guys. Today, or maybe fly down to Florida if she could take the time off. We were on a tight schedule to get everything done in time for this party.”

  His mom raised her eyebrows. “Were you getting married without telling me too?”

  “What? No! No, she built this house. Or at least designed it, and picked the cabinets and the floors. And that damn stained glass window up there.”

  Cat looked around slowly, taking in all the little details, including the ornate window above the front door. Not to mention the hand-carved doors themselves. “She’s good. Really good.”

  “Yeah, she‘s amazing.” Jake’s voice pulsed with the pride, the pain, the loss he felt.

  “So, why isn’t she here?”

  Jake sighed, took a deep breath. “Because I screwed up. Badly.”

  “Okay. So apologize.”

  "You make it sound so simple. Mom, it’s not that easy. You have no idea what I did. I accused her of cheating…with her foreman.”

  “Aaahh. Well, you come by your jealousy honestly. Your father’s always been the same way.”

  Jake couldn't hold in the little hiccup of surprise. “You and dad are perfect. He’s not jealous, or possessive, or whatever.”

  Cat guffawed. “Hah! Nobody’s perfect, Jake. Not your father and not me. And he is jealous. Still... even after thirty-five years together.”

  Jake still didn’t believe her. “Mom, don’t just say this to make me feel better.”

  “Jake, don’t you remember when you were younger... the yelling. We fought. Not often, but when we did it was hard and loud. Incidentally, so was the making up.”

  Jake groaned in horror. He didn't want to hear this. “Okay, I’m a grown man, but you’re still my parents. No details, please!”

  Now Cat laughed harder. “Jake, passion, love, real love makes everything stronger. You’re going to be possessive and prideful. It’s in your nature. But you need to trust also. Did she? Cheat on you?”

  “No, she didn’t.”

  “And you’re sure?”

  “Positive. She wouldn’t, mom. I knew it almost as soon as I said it. But it was too late to call it back. I was…awful to her.”

  “Did you apologize?”

  Jake shook his head. “No. It wouldn’t be enough. Mom, I called her a…whore.”

  Cat's face registered a little bit of shock at that. “Well, that’s definitely something to apologize for. Maybe even grovel a little bit.”

  Jake looked up. “She wouldn’t forgive me. Not for that. There was more that I said, I don’t even remember all of it.”

  Cat smiled softly, but not a mother’s smile, a secret woman’s smile. “Jake, does she love you?”

  He took a minute to think about it before answering. “Yeah, she did. Before.”

  “Then go and apologize. Love makes everything stronger. Even forgiveness.” She hopped off the counter, started to walk away and then leaned against it again. “That’s how I knew you never loved Karen.”

  Jake looked at her, startled.

  Cat smiled, patting his cheek. “You were humiliated by her, by being duped, but you never loved her. Even when you kicked her out, there was no passion.” She headed to the door. “Go see her Jake. Don’t wait too long. And, get some damn furniture so I don’t have to sit on the counter!”

  Jake stared at his mother’s back as the door shut behind her. All at once the last sentence penetrated through the fog in his brain. Jake laughed, for the first time since Jess had walked out. Only his mom could casually issue an order, without looking backward, and still come off sounding like a queen.

  Even before he finished the thought, Jake remembered one other woman that could do that. Jess. Could his mom be right? Was there any chance that she could forgive him? Could he live with himself if he didn’t try?

  He didn’t know the answer to the first two questions, but the last one was no. He had to try. It wasn’t going to hurt any more if she said no than it did right now. Feeling hope for the first time in months, Jake couldn’t wait for this party to be over. He had somewhere he needed to go.

  Chapter 32

  The following Friday, they all agreed to close the office early and have a little in-house celebration. They’d gotten three more houses that week. One was even out of state. It looked like they were going to be busy. Two of the customers had come from the party at the ranch, and one was straight out of the phone book. Mike was already looking into additional crews for the local area, and one down in Florida.

  Jess headed to the back to get the champagne and glasses while Mike finished the last call of the day. It was time to celebrate.

  * * * * *

  Jake walked in the glass doors, seeing a stunningly gorgeous, slightly wild looking blonde at the front desk. She stood up, coming around the desk to meet him, and he saw that she was tall, at least five foot ten and built like a model. Jake knew he should feel something, he wasn’t dead after all, but the only thought he had was “smart choice.” People would love seeing her first thing when they came in.

  “Hi, may I help you?” She extended her hand, and Jake shook it automatically. “I apologize for the jeans, but we’re having a casual day today. A private celebration. Did you have an appointment?”

  “No, I didn’t. I was hoping I could see…”

  “What the hell are you doing here?” Mike’s tone was furious, clearly not happy to see Jake in their office.

  Following Mike's angry words, the blonde joined in. “Jake Morgenstern. How very nice to meet you. I’m Cindy.”

  Jake noticed that the warm welcome wa
s gone, a chill seeping into her voice. Cindy, the other college friend.

  “I’m sorry,” Jake said, turning to Mike, “I really wanted to talk to Jess. Is she here?”

  “No, she’s out.”

  At that moment, Jess came around the corner, stopping midstride when she saw him. She stood for a second, frozen, before finally continuing toward the front desk. Toward him.

  Jess set the champagne and the cups onto the front desk. “Sorry, we don’t have any real champagne flutes, the plastic will have to do.” Jess turned to Jake, her voice like ice. “I’m sorry, sir, we’re closed for the day.”

  He stared, his eyes drinking her in like a man too long without water. She was beautiful, even more so than he remembered. Her hair was down, a long tangle of black waves, her lips red and full, she was in low fitting jeans with black sandals. Her shirt was red, deep red and simple. A basic T-shirt, that fit her perfectly, showing just the tiniest inch of her belly. When he finally made it back to her eyes, he was thrilled to see the silver instead of the brown she used to hide behind. Until he noticed the look. Whatever she was thinking or feeling, she was masking it with ice.

  “Jess, please. I just wanted to talk to—”

  “No.” She turned back the way she came but Jake grabbed her hand, stopping her before she could go more than a step.

  “Let go.” This time the anger leaked into her voice, making it come out as a growl through clenched teeth.

  * * * * *

  Jess caught Mike and Cindy sneaking out the door and locking it behind them. She was alone with him. Traitors!

  She yanked her hand, the suddenness of her movement successfully freeing her. “Jake, there’s nothing to say. You said it all two months ago. Please leave.”

  This time she made it mostly down the hall before she heard his footfalls behind her. She barely resisted the urge to run to her office and lock the door. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. She did try to slam the door, but he caught it before it shut.

  “There is one thing I forgot to say.”

  Jess turned back to face him. Why couldn't he just leave her alone?

  “What Jake? What could you possibly have forgotten? You managed to call me a liar, a cheat. You even threw in whore if I’m not mistaken. You obviously proved that you don’t trust me. You believed Bethany, Bethany, over me! You didn’t even ask me if it was true. So, what else is left? I think you pretty much covered it all.” Her voice had steadily risen, until, by the end, she was screaming. She knew it, heard it, but couldn’t stop herself.

  He took one step forward, making her step back toward her desk. If he was trying to intimidate her, she refused to let him succeed. She stood taller, shoulders back..

  His voice was barely a whisper when he said, “I forgot to tell you I was wrong. I forgot to say I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. And I forgot to tell you I love you.” He looked into her eyes. His hand came up to push back a strand of her hair, stopped just before he touched her, and fell back to his side in a fist.

  She was speechless, her mind racing in circles, trying to make sense of what she’d just heard. She couldn’t find any words, so she shook her head. Silently trying to convey to him that it wasn’t enough.

  He kept talking. “It’s no excuse, but I’d been waiting for it. It was too good between us, I felt too much. I had this feeling that somethin’ bad was goin’ to happen, so when Bethany showed up, it felt…expected. I could never understand what you saw in me. Why you would stay with me, so it made more sense that you wouldn’t. I’m sure that was a residual from Karen, my own fears talking. It probably won’t matter, but I knew I was wrong even as I said the words. I wanted to call them back, never have said them, even while I was still screaming them at you.”

  When he finally looked into her eyes again she knew he'd see the tears rolling silently down her cheeks. Again, his hands came up. Slowly, he used his thumb to wipe a tear from her cheek. “Jess, please don’t cry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He backed up a step. “I’ll go, okay? I just…you needed to know. I didn’t mean it. Not any of it.”

  He had his hand on the door knob before she managed to whisper, “Why didn’t you trust me?”

  He looked back at her and Jess could see the pain in his eyes. She finally noticed what she had refused to see when he first got here. Dark shadows under his eyes, weight loss. He looked terrible. Terrible, and perfect.

  In answer to her question, he just shook his head, looking confused.

  “Why didn’t you trust that I wouldn’t hurt you? I know why you believed Bethany, it’d happened before, but you should have trusted me. I’m not Karen.”

  He finally found his voice. “I’m jealous. Possessive. Whatever you want to call it.” He laughed softly, wryly. “Apparently I come by it naturally. According to my mother, my father’s the same way.” He looked back into her eyes. “You have no idea how beautiful you are Jess. Every male on the ranch is half in love with you, including Ben. Cody and Mike, if you so much as winked at them, they’d be at your feet. I just couldn’t stand it. I thought that if we got engaged, when you wore my ring then this crazy urge to claim you, to make you mine would ease up. By the time Bethany got there, I’d already made myself crazy.”

  Jess listened to his words, her heart breaking for both of them even as hope leapt into her throat. “When I wore your ring?” Her voice was barely more than a whisper.

  His eyes bore into hers. “I’d reserved a room in Evanston. Dinner reservations, a couples’ massage, a spa day for you.” He ran his hand over his face, settling it back into a fist on his hip. “For the following weekend.”

  “You never said anything.” She looked up at him, feeling the tears rushing down her face now. “I didn’t know. I would’ve told you about the business if I’d known.”

  A fresh wave of pain rushed across his face. “Why did you tell Cody, but not me?”

  “You’d never talked about the future. I didn’t want to rush you.” She looked up, searching his eyes as she asked, “Would it have mattered? Or would you still have believed her?”

  She could tell he was searching, trying to make sure he gave her an honest answer. She knew the moment he’d decided. “I wouldn’t have believed her. I didn’t believe her when she first told me.”

  “Then why? What convinced you?”

  “She said she saw you kissing him. It just brought back too many memories.”

  She saw guilt join the pain in his eyes. As much as she longed to ease his pain, and hers, he needed to understand. “Jake, I won’t hide who I am, what I look like. Not again, not ever. It took me too long to accept it.” She thought briefly of the fight with her mother when she’d refused to hide anymore. It had been ugly. Her mother hadn't spoken to her for weeks afterward. Her own personal comfort with herself was a hard won battle she wasn't about to give up. “I just can’t.”

  Suddenly he was right in front of her, taking her hands in his. “Jess, I would never want you to. Seeing you emerge, become comfortable in your own skin, was amazing. Look, I can’t promise I won’t get possessive, I can almost guarantee that at some point I will. But I promise that I will always trust you.”

  “And, the next time Bethany, or someone else tells you I’ve done something you don’t like. Because, I’m sure I will. We won’t always agree, Jake.”

  Chapter 33

  Behind the sad resolution in her voice, Jake thought he heard just a twinge of hope. The same hope he was starting to feel. “Then I’ll ask. I’ll ask you, what really happened.” Jake paused, letting that sink in. “And Bethany will never be a problem again. I told her off at the party.”

  Jess looked up, surprise clear in her eyes. “You did what?”

  Jake laughed, a bit embarrassed. “She called you a trollop. Who even uses that word? And I kind of lost it. I told her to get off my land and out of my life. I guess I caused quite a scene.” He kind of grimaced. “Apparently my temper comes from my father too.”

  When he looked at Jess
to see how she’d react to that, he was surprised to see her laughing. Silently, but vigorously.

  “I would’ve paid money to see that.”

  The money thing reminded Jake about her family. “Jess, why didn’t you tell me about your family?”

  Jess looked confused. “I did. I told you all about them.”

  Jake nodded. “Except who they were.”

  “Yeah, about that…”

  “Didn’t you trust me?” That thought had occurred to him late last night. Maybe that was why she didn’t tell him about her dad. “I kept waiting for you to invite me back for your sister’s delivery, to meet your family, but you never mentioned it. They wouldn’t approve of me for you, would they?”

  “God, Jake. No! I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to think differently of me.”

  "Why would I think differently of you?"

  “I felt at home on the ranch. I was finally happy just being me. And it was enough. I was afraid that if you knew who my family was, you would expect me to be different. But I don’t fit with them, never have. And I didn’t invite you for Dana’s delivery because it was a nightmare. It was my parent’s first grandchild, and my dad’s running for office, so of course, the delivery was nothing more than a press junket. A photo op of the ‘happy family’. If you had come, you would have been all over the news, Jessica Wythe’s new beau. I didn’t think you’d want that.”

  Jake thought about the pictures he’d seen when he’d Googled her family. The family smiling and laughing at the hospital. The obviously tired, and yet perfectly coiffed, new mother. Jess standing next to her. It had never occurred to him, until that moment, that it was staged. In his world, a new baby was celebrated, but the cameras weren’t for the newspaper, they were for memories. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt like he should apologize again.

  Jess flopped down on the couch. The anger seemed to be gone, now she just looked exhausted. When Jake came and sat beside her, she didn’t complain.