You Can't Go Home Again Read online

  Jenn heard the sigh that Dani tried to hide. “Dani, look, I know you don’t want to come here. I know that being home is hard for you. You don’t even deal with your family’s house. You have the rental company handle it instead. And I have never complained that the only time I get to see you is when I come to Los Angeles. But I need you to do this. This is really important to me. The happiest event of my life. And I want to share it with you. I’m playing the friend card, Danielle. I need you to come home for this.”

  Dani took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly. “Yes. I’ll be there, and I’ll come early. I’ll try to get there for the fourth, although that’s not a guarantee. I need to see what’s brewing at work. But…,” she continued before Jenn could interrupt, “I will beg, if necessary, and see what I can do. Okay?”

  One more squeal, but at least this time Dani was prepared and pulled the phone away from her ear. She wasn’t looking forward to this, but she couldn’t help but laugh at Jenn’s excitement. “I really am excited for you, sweetie. So much so that I might even forgive you for waking me up on my only day off.”

  “Wait, your day off? Oh, I’m so sorry! Go back to sleep! I’ll call you later and give you the rest of the details. You know, the other bridesmaids, the groomsmen, etc. Oh, and I’ll send you the photo of the dress you’ll be wearing. Okay, I’ll talk to you later. Goodnight!”

  Dani smiled again. “Bye. Tell Brian I said congrats, and it’s about damn time!” She heard Jenn laughing as she hung up the phone.

  Dani settled back, trying to get comfortable so she could get some more sleep. After about ten minutes she gave up. Throwing her legs over the side of the bed, she let out one more long, deep sigh. They say you can never go home again. It looked like she was going to find out.

  Chapter 2

  Jason Bradford wrung out the rag in his hands and leaned over to wipe down the bar. It had been a busy night, but Saturdays usually were. They had just closed ten minutes ago, and as much as he longed to leave the mess and head upstairs to bed, he knew he wouldn’t. He just couldn’t leave a job undone.

  He wiped down tables, flipping chairs up onto them when he was done. Dave was supposed to have stayed to help, but when his girlfriend showed up at one thirty with tears streaming down her face, he’d let him go early. So it was just him. Him and the silence. After so many hours of chaos and noise, the silence at the end of the night was always welcome. He was lost in his own thoughts, zoning out, so he nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the knock on the door. He headed over to open it, figuring it was the owner of the cell phone he had tucked behind the bar.

  When he opened the door and saw Brian, he was startled, then worried. It was two thirty a.m. What was he doing here?

  “Hey Bri, what’s up? What are you doing here?”

  Brian walked through the door, a strange smile on his face, then turned around and gave Jason one of those backslapping guy hugs. When he pulled back, the grin was bigger than ever.

  “So, what are you doing July twelfth?”

  When Jason looked completely lost, Brian laughed. “Jace, she said yes!” Jason still looked nonplussed, so Brian continued. “I finally proposed, officially, and Jenn said yes! We’re getting married July twelfth. And I want you to be my best man.”

  Jason had started grinning less than halfway through Brian’s little speech. When he was done talking, Jace pulled him in for another hug, pounding his back with all the enthusiasm he felt. “Aw, man! That’s awesome! I’m so glad for you. It’s about time you guys made it legal!”

  “I know, I know…it’s been a long time coming. Man, it feels good, ya know? Really good. So, are you going to stand up with me, or what?”

  “Dude, do you even have to ask? You know I will. I would have been pissed if you didn’t ask me.” Jace turned around, heading back toward the bar. “Pull up a stool, let me buy you a drink.” He hopped over the bar. Turning around to grab a couple shot glasses, Jace grabbed the bottle of tequila.

  “You can never go wrong with Patron.”

  “Aaah, you must really be happy, dragging out the good stuff.” They threw back the first shot, hissing a bit at the burn. “So, are you excited to see me settled with Jenn, or just glad one more guy gets the ball and chain before you do?”

  Jace smirked. “Well, another one bites the dust!” Brian grinned, taking the ribbing in stride. “No, you know, I think you and Jenn are great together. Besides, who else is gonna put up with your crap?”

  Brian just grinned again, wiggling his eyebrows a little. “She only puts up with me ‘cuz I’m great in bed. Which explains why no one has stayed with you.”

  Jace laughed, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Brian had no idea how close to home he had just hit. Jace knew that it hadn’t been intentional, because Brian knew nothing about that. No one knew anything about that. Jace poured out another round, trying not to think about it.

  “Speaking of… Nicole seems to be sticking. You ever give any thought to taking the next step? Getting a ball and chain of your own?”

  Jace winced, a move Brian caught despite the casual shrug that followed. “You know, it’s not that farfetched, Jace. With me and Jenn tying the knot, you can bet it will cross her mind. Besides, you guys are really good together. Have you honestly never even considered the idea?”

  Jace sort of nodded and shrugged all at the same time. “I’ve thought about it. Not extensively, but it’s run through my brain a time or two.”

  When Jace made no further comment, Brian prodded. “And?”

  “And, nothing. I’ve never had any real urge to propose to Nicole. Maybe we’re just not…there…yet. I don’t know. We’ve only been dating a year.”

  Jace watched as Brian tilted his head to the side, obviously thinking this over. When he finally reached a decision, he shook his head. “No, I knew I wanted to marry Jenn within the first six months.”

  At Jace’s raised eyebrows, Brian continued. “No, seriously. I wasn’t ready to get married, but I knew right away that it would be her.”

  Jace shrugged again, opening the bottle and pouring the third round. “Maybe it was because you’ve known her your whole life. Or maybe you were just lucky.”

  A huge grin broke across Brian’s face. “I am lucky, huh? She’s awesome, just the most amazing woman. How did we go through high school and college and never see how amazing those two were? Were we blind, or just that stupid?”

  Jace couldn’t look back on those years without a little twinge, but it wasn’t something he wanted to talk about. Not now, with Brian half soused and celebrating his engagement. Probably not ever.

  Instead he smiled, poured out two more shots, and grabbed Bri’s keys off the bar, pocketing them. “Maybe we just needed to grow up first. They were always smarter than us anyway. They would have run screaming from the room if we had tried anything back then.” Jace smirked a little, remembering, and hopped back over the bar. “Let’s get you upstairs, buddy. You can sleep it off on my sofa. You never could hold your liquor.”

  Jace dragged his friend upstairs, grabbed some blankets and a pillow and tossed them to Brian on the sofa. Then he texted Jenn, letting her know he was staying here, just in case she woke up alone and started to worry. He made a mental note to buy Jenn some flowers tomorrow and tell her congrats.

  He looked over at Brian, already snoring, with just a little twinge of jealousy. Maybe he really should think about settling down with Nicole. She was perfect for him—the right balance of sweet and soft to his hard and angry. As he headed into his bedroom, he tried to picture a life with her, picture celebrating his own engagement with his best friends. Unfortunately other thoughts, old dreams forced their way to the front of his mind. He fell asleep, waiting for the nightmares and praying for the fantasy instead.

  It wasn’t until he woke up the next morning that another thought occurred to him. She would come home. This was Jenn’s wedding too, not just Brian’s, and she would be there. After five years, Danielle was coming back to Au
stin.

  Chapter 3

  Dani grabbed her iced peppermint tea and Cobb salad, following behind Nina as she looked for an available table. She tried to stifle the panic, think about other things, but it just kept rising up, like bad heartburn. She had been focusing on the little details; packing, arranging to have her mail picked up, finishing up projects at work, and so on. But, unfortunately, she had everything done. Now she had nothing to do for the next seventeen hours but freak out.

  She was so glad Nina had been available for lunch today. She desperately needed the company of her friend to keep her sane. How had three months gone by so quickly? She was leaving for Austin tomorrow morning at six a.m. And she was staying there for almost three weeks!

  She was still trying to figure out how she had let Jenn talk her into this. She should have flown in for the rehearsal dinner and wedding, and flown out the next day. Instead she was coming twelve days early, and then staying to doggie sit their new Golden Retriever puppy for the week of their honeymoon. Why was she doing this? Guilt. Jenn was a master of the guilt trip.

  As they finally found a table, Nina sat down, took one look at her terrified expression and laughed out loud, grabbing her tray and setting it on the table before she dumped the whole thing.

  “Wow, Dan, I have never seen you like this. I’m starting to see why you’ve avoided going back for so long. You’re really worried about this, aren’t you?”

  “I don’t know, you tell me… You’re the psychic.”

  Nina rolled her eyes, shooting Dani one of her famous “Don’t give me that crap” looks. The ones that usually made Dani laugh, but not today.

  “I don’t have to be psychic to know you’re petrified. It’s written all over your face, hun. Look, just sit down, and we can talk about this. It might make you feel better.”

  Dani sat, plopping down because her knees had suddenly given out. “Talk about what, exactly?”

  “About whatever it is that happened back there that has kept you away for five years. And don’t tell me it’s just your parents’ death. That’s sad and tragic, but you were back after that, during college, and you were fine. Sad, but fine. This…this mess you’ve got going on inside, this is not fine.”

  Dani grimaced a little. Nina saw too much, but that should be expected

  Dani had met Nina when she’d first come to L.A. She had been told to find a “real psychic” to interview and to consult on the movie she was working on. Since she was the newbie, the first-time intern, she had been assigned to visit every psychic in the Los Angeles area and find one who rang true to her. She had found Nina. Nina’s predictions had always been eerily accurate, and she saw things, felt things that no one else had ever known about. Things Dani had never spoken out loud.

  She had also believed in Dani without question, without doubt. A new girl in a new city, and Dani had found a friend and confidante within the first two weeks. They’d been friends ever since.

  “So, spit it out…what happened that you’re afraid to face.”

  “Are you just guessing now, or can you see something?”

  Nina shrugged. “A little of both. You know I don’t really get pictures, just impressions, thoughts. I can sense pain, fear…and…love?” She paused a beat, looking over at Dani, understanding written all over her face. “This is the heartbreak. I always thought the pain was from losing your parents, but it’s not, is it? There’s more. This is the heartbreak I’ve seen.”

  She looked over at Nina; long, curly red hair, warm brown eyes and fair skin with almost no makeup. She was wearing retro bell-bottom jeans, sandals, and a loose peasant blouse. Her nails were manicured, but short and unpolished, except for the crazy green on her toes. She had on a loose-fitting silver belt, a million bracelets and a necklace with all her favorite stones. Lapis lazuli, for protection, aquamarine for peace and to enhance psychic ability, along with amethyst. She also had malachite, and black and white agate. Dani knew that most people thought all psychics were fake, but personal experience had taught her that some were real. She also knew that Nina was waiting for an answer.

  “This one’s not a guess, Dani—this one I can sense. Tell me about it. You’ll feel better if you do.”

  Dani shook her head. “I really don’t want to talk about it, Nina. Yes, you’re right, there’s something there, but it’s my demon to face. And I’ll be fine. There is the possibility I won’t even see him.” That was a blatant lie. There was no way she could avoid him.

  Nina looked at her expression, watching all the conflict play across her face. “You’re lying.” She paused a beat. “But, I’ll let you.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a necklace. All the same stones she wore on a strong silver chain. “I got this for you. Wear it while you’re there. It will help. It’ll bring you peace.”

  Dani took the gift, fingering the stones, stopping at the amethyst and the aquamarine. “I don’t want those gifts enhanced, Nina. You know that, we’ve talked about it.” She started to take off those two stones.

  Nina was shaking her head and reached over to stay Dani’s hands. “They won’t bring out something you don’t want. Like everything else, to see by choice takes practice, not stones. But they will help you see anything you need to see. They’ll simply make you more open to it.”

  Dani debated, but she trusted Nina, especially in this area. Finally, at length, she hooked the necklace on as it was, leaving everything in place.

  “Good.” Nina nodded once. “Now, promise me you’ll leave it on the whole trip.”

  Dani nodded, and Nina continued, grabbing her hands across the table and breathing in deeply. “Okay, now, let’s take a quick look and see how this trip will go for you.”

  Dani sat silently, closing her eyes and tuning everything else out. After several minutes—or several hours, Dani was never sure—she opened her eyes as Nina pulled her hands away.

  She was smiling, a happy, peaceful smile. “Dani, I know you’re afraid, but don’t be. This trip will be wonderful. Not without its problems, mind you, but it is necessary and right for you to go right now. And, when it’s done, you will have peace and happiness. So, go with an open mind. Okay?” At Dani’s silent nod, Nina clapped her hands together. “Okay, let’s talk about something else. Like this dress you have to wear. Have you seen it yet? Is it horrible? Every bridesmaid dress I’ve ever seen has been atrocious.”

  Dani laughed at the abrupt change in subject. They spent the next two hours talking about nothing, laughing about everything and watching the people walking by. By the time Dani left the lunch, she felt almost ready to go. Almost.

  Chapter 4

  When Dani got off the plane, she took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for the coming weeks. She also felt the first twinge of excitement. She was here to spend time with friends and stand beside her best friend while she married the man of her dreams. She wasn’t going to let anything spoil it.

  She was also going to spend some time checking on her home. Luckily, her tenants had moved out a couple of months ago, and rather than renting it right away, Dani had told the property management company to leave it sit. Now, she had a place to stay while she was here, and she could make some necessary repairs and changes while she was at it. She had always rented the place furnished, at least with the necessities, but she was thinking that, after the wedding, she would pack it up and empty the house out. Most of the furniture was old and outdated at this point anyway. It would rent easier unfurnished. So…since she was here…

  She turned around, finally remembering where the rental car desks were, and started walking that direction. She waited in line, thankfully only behind two people, and signed the needed paperwork to get her car. She had called and made a reservation weeks ago. Instead of getting a little subcompact that was sensible, she had rented a Land Rover like she drove at home. It was a silly expense, but she lived frugally even though she made decent money. She would rather drive something she was comfortable in.

  She pocketed
the keys and turned to go to the baggage claim. Just as she rounded the corner, checking the boards for her flight information to get her luggage, she heard a familiar squeal. She spun her head around to see Jenn running toward her in full hug mode. Dani quickly dropped her carry-on at her feet and braced herself. Jenn was nothing if not enthusiastic. More than once, Dani was awed that they had remained friends.

  After her warm welcome, Jenn stepped back and looked at her friend. “You look amazing. You always do, but I know you were nervous about coming back here, plus you’ve been so busy at work. At some point, you have to look tired, right? I mean, it’s so not fair that you always look amazing!”

  Dani laughed and gave her standard answer to this little rant. “Vitamins and clean living. You should try it some time.”

  Jenn rolled her eyes, laughing as she did. “Yeah, genetics have nothing to do with it.” Dani’s mom had looked to be in her late twenties even when she’d died at forty-five. Dani had gotten good genes, and she knew it.

  “Okay, let’s grab your bags. We can catch up on the way home.” It was a twenty-minute drive, without traffic, from the airport to their neighborhood.

  “Jenn, I would have told you if you’d asked, but I rented a car. You didn’t need to pick me up.” Dani looked a little chagrined.

  “Well, conveniently, I knew you would, so I had Brian drop me off here so I could ride back with you. I knew there was no way you would come to town without your own escape route.”

  Dani shook her head. Jenn was right, she knew Dani well, but then why would she come here?

  Jenn saw the confusion, laughed a little and answered the unspoken question. “There was no way I was giving up thirty minutes of alone time to catch up on girl talk before we get back to the chaos!”

  Dani laughed, grabbing her bag off the track and loading it onto the luggage cart. “Well, good…maybe we’ll stretch that out and stop for coffee. I actually got on the plane without any caffeine this morning, so it is almost a necessity. Do you have anything planned we need to get back for right away?”