Strictly Business Page 14

  “So, is it okay if I ask how it’s going? Or is that topic off limits?”

  “No, not off limits. It’s good. At least I think it’s good. I really kind of like him. He’s not nearly as much of an ass as he came off in the beginning.”

  “I didn’t think so. I always thought it was just you. You brought out the assness.”

  She rolled her eyes at him. “Thanks so much for that.”

  He laughed. “That’s not what I meant. There was obviously some chemistry between you guys. I think it just needed an outlet. He was a jerk, you were the ice bitch.”

  He laughed as she glared at him. “Come on, you know you do that. Anyway, now that you guys have found the, uh, proper outlet, you’re getting along fine.”

  Jess looked away uncomfortably, shrugging her shoulders and turning around.

  Mike must have noticed the reaction. “Wait, you have found the outlet, right?”

  Jess looked at him, feeling her cheeks heat up.

  “Jess, really? Why the hell not?”

  “It’s not like it’s any of your business, but, well, I’m still a virgin.” She stood, shoulders back, defiant and scared all at the same time.

  Mike looked stunned. “How is that even possible? I mean, back in college everyone wanted you. There was a line around the corner. You never…?”

  “No, and there was no line. Mike, most guys were afraid of me. Except you.”

  “Ok, so Jake is afraid of you?”

  Jess laughed. “Yes and no. Not like the others, but me being a… well, it makes him nervous. I don’t think he likes the idea of being my first. Especially since I’m a lot older than most.”

  She watched the thoughts run across his face. Mike had always been an open book. After a minute of debating how he should react, he apparently decided on humor. He walked up to her, slid his hands around her waist and leaned in to leer at her. “Well, I could take care of that for him.” He wiggled his eyebrows again.

  She threw her head back and laughed just as Mike picked her up and swung her in a circle. This was exactly what Jake saw when he walked in. She didn't notice Jake was even in the room until he grabbed her arm and swung her around to face him. She was startled by the hands on her arm, but she was even more concerned by the look on Jake's face. His comment about not sharing, his history with Karen, all flashed through her mind. “Jake, wait, it’s not what you…”

  His lips crashed down on hers. He pulled her to him, crushing her body against his as he plundered her mouth. Just when Jess was sure she was going under, was just about to jump up and wrap herself around him, he pulled back, setting her slightly away from him.

  “Hi,” was all Jake said.

  “Ummm, hi.”Her voice sounded as breathless as she felt.

  “I came to tell you that I can’t make it tonight. One of our mares just went into labor. Do you want to go with everyone? Or you can stay here, help me in the barn?”

  His voice sounded deeper than normal. Jess wasn’t sure if it was from anger or desire, but it was making her nerves tingle. “I’ll stay here. I liked seeing the foal born last time.”

  He smiled, kissed her cheek and turned to go. He stopped right as he reached the door, and tossed back over his shoulder, “Mike, if I ever catch you with your hands on her again, I’ll rip your arms out of their sockets.” He tossed one quick glance over his shoulder. Then he left.

  It was silent in the room for a minute. The few crew members that were still there seemed to be waiting on her response before they reacted at all. Jess was stunned. Mike was staring, almost blankly.

  Finally Jess turned, looked at Mike and said, “Well.”

  Mike laughed, long and loud. He laughed until he had tears rolling down his face. Jess joined in. Soon, they were both sitting on the concrete subflooring, holding their sides and wiping their eyes as the laughter subsided.

  As Jess was still trying to recover Mike said, “I don’t think the virgin thing will be a problem for long, sweetheart. There’s enough heat between you two that the temperature in here just went up twenty degrees.”

  Jess looked at Mike. He looked a little sad. She smiled softly at him. “You’re not in love with me, you know.”

  A look of astonishment crossed his face. “You love me, just like I love you. Like I love Cindy. But you’re not in love with me. I’m comfortable, like your favorite boots. I’m not sure yet, but I don’t think love, real love, is comfortable. At least not for years. If you had really been in love with me, then we wouldn’t still be friends. We would have hurt each other too much when we broke up in college.”

  “Maybe you’re right. But, for what it’s worth, I want to be in love with you. I can’t think of a woman I would rather be with.”

  “Only because you haven’t found her yet. When you do you’ll realize I’m right, Mike. But you’ll always be my friend, right?” She didn’t know how they’d gotten so serious, but the question needed to be answered.

  “I’ll always be your friend, Jess. Always. So, are you in love with Jake?”

  “I don’t know. I know it’s not comfortable. It’s painful and scary. It’s passion and laughter. I never quite know what to expect from him. Like just now. There are comfortable moments, even peaceful ones, but there’s always something else under it.”

  “Have you told him yet? That you love him?”

  “I’m not sure I do.”

  Mike rolled his eyes, then he just looked at her. The kind of look that forced her to be honest with herself. “Yeah, I love him.” She blew the breath out, one she didn’t realize she’d been holding.

  “Why don’t you tell him? I think you’ll be surprised with the response.” He got to his feet and held out a hand for her. “Come on, everyone’s gone, let’s finish up and get out of here. I have some dancing to do and you have a horse to deliver.”

  As they walked toward the main house, she looked over at him. “Mike, for what it’s worth, I wish I could have been in love with you too. But, it would never be worth losing your friendship. I don’t think you really know just how important that is to me.”

  He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. “Thanks. Me too.” He strolled away, off to the house to shower, leaving her to head to her room to change. Jess went in to find some grubbies, remembering how messy Jake had gotten last time. All of a sudden, she was excited. She was going to spend the evening alone with the man she loved. There was nothing better than that. Even if she had to share him with a horse.

  * * * * *

  Jake waited in the barn. He’d grabbed a sandwich earlier, unsure when the mare would deliver. Since he was alone and it was quiet, he had plenty of time to contemplate his reaction earlier. He knew he’d surprised her. She’d expected anger, yelling. Which was understandable, considering the last time he’d found her in Mike’s arms. He rolled his eyes, huffing out a breath after that thought. Why did he seem to keep finding her in Mike’s arms?

  When he first saw them this afternoon, his immediate reaction had been fury. Even though he could see it was innocent. He knew she didn’t love Mike, not like that. He knew they were friends. And he knew that if he found them like that again, he would beat the crap out of Mike. He didn’t understand his reaction any more now than he had then. When he saw her, his first and only thought had been, Mine. He’d wanted to claim her in front of everyone. He’d wanted to make sure that everyone knew she belonged to him. He’d never felt that way, not even with Karen. He wasn’t sure what it meant, but it scared him. He looked up, sensing her even before she spoke.

  She must have been standing there watching him for awhile. He forced a mellow smile just as she said, “Hey there. How’s it goin’?”

  She looked amazing. He knew she was wearing old clothes she didn’t mind getting dirty, and she still looked phenomenal. He smiled, a real smile, when she plunked down next to him, leaning over for a quick kiss. “It’s good. She’s moving along just like she’s supposed to. Shouldn’t be too much longer. A few hours maybe.
Thanks for stayin’ with me tonight. I’m sure dancing would be more fun.”

  She shook her head. “I’d much rather be here.” She paused, looking down at her fingernails. “Jake, about earlier…”

  “Yeah, about that… Should I apologize?” He didn’t want to. He'd meant everything he’d said. But, if she was upset he would apologize for that.

  “What? No. I need to apologize. Once again, it wasn’t what it looked like. But I feel bad that you keep seeing things that I have to keep explaining. I’m sorry.”

  “It wasn’t what it looked like, huh?” She shook her head. “So, it wasn’t Mike jokingly offering to take your virginity, and you laughing at him? At least, I assume he was joking.”

  She looked stunned. Finally she managed to mumble, “Well, yes, but it was a joke.”

  “Do you mind if I ask what led up to that? I only caught him grabbing you and making the offer.”

  Jess slapped her hand to her head. “God, I’m so sorry. Especially after Karen. How were you so calm?”

  Jake shrugged his shoulders. “I wasn’t. Not really.”

  She blew out a slow breath. “Okay, we were talking about us. Me and you. He asked how things were going, I said good. He said he figured we had found another outlet for all the yelling we were doing when we first met. I finally blurted out that we hadn’t used that outlet just yet, because you were nervous since I was a virgin. When Mike gets uncomfortable he makes inappropriate jokes. He always has. That’s what you saw. Along with me laughing. Which was probably why he said it in the first place. That’s it, I swear.” She had blurted all this out at lightning speed, so he was still trying to process the words when she looked over, waiting for his response.

  “So, you think I’m nervous, huh?” He couldn't seem to stop the smirk at that thought. Slowly, Jess nodded.

  With a shrug, he answered. “Could be. You see, you’ve waited a really long time. I kind of want it to be perfect for you. And since I can’t seem to control myself all that well around you, I’m having a hard time finding that perfect moment. But I will. And you’ll know it.”

  He watched her eyes go all watery and wondered what he’d said wrong. Then she flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck until he almost fell backward with surprise. Then he heard her whisper in his ear, “If it’s you, it will be perfect.”

  She looked up at him, her heart in her eyes. The shining expression she wore did more to soothe him than any words she could have offered.

  “It will be me. Make no mistake, Jess. I wasn’t joking when I said I don’t share, and I wasn’t joking when I threatened Mike earlier. You will be mine. And it will be soon.” He leaned in and kissed her, long and hard. Then he stood up and headed into the stall. “Come on, let’s go check on our new baby. We’re hoping for a male, the ultrasound was inconclusive.”

  “You give horses ultrasounds?”

  He smiled back at her. “You’d be surprised what we do nowadays.” He spent the next hour telling her all about medical treatment for horses and cattle. All they did to keep costs down, and health up, without going with growth hormones and steroids.

  After a lesson in working ranches, Jake said, “So, tell me about your family. You mentioned your sister was pregnant? When is she due?”

  He saw the surprise on her face over his change in topic and figured that might work to his advantage. She didn’t like to talk about her family.

  “Yes, my younger sister, Dana. She’s due in a few weeks. That’s why I’ll need to go home for a week or two. I want to be there for the birth. It’s her first baby and they’re expecting a son. Her husband is so excited.”

  Her face lit up at the mention of the baby. He smiled. She wanted kids. A sudden image of her standing at the stove in the kitchen they’d designed, in the house they’d built, heavily pregnant with his child, popped into his head. And with the image came a surge of longing. He wanted that. He wanted her. He felt his breath catch as the realization that he loved her surged through him. That explained everything. Why he was designing his house for her, why he wanted her first time to be perfect, why he was so jealous of Mike. He looked at her as she continued to talk about her sister. He had less than two months to convince her she wanted to stay. Or at least come back. He didn’t know if he wanted to shout with joy or run in terror.

  The terror part must have shown in his expression, because when she looked back at him she freaked out. “What’s wrong? Is there something wrong with Betsy?” Betsy was the mare.

  She got up and walked over to look more closely at the mare.

  Her movement finally snapped him out of it. “No, no. She’s fine. I was just thinking about something. Sorry, my mind wandered.” He had to change the subject quickly, before she asked what he’d been thinking about. “So, do you have any other brothers or sisters? Besides Dana?”

  She cocked her head to the side, pausing a moment before answering his question. “Yes, I have an older sister, Chantel. She’s as miserable as Dana is happy. Chantel is the perfect example of why I didn’t follow my parents’ life plan.” She went on to tell Jake all about her sister. This included drinking problems, marital problems, and the way her family handled things by sending her away for 'treatment'.

  * * * * *

  The mare took longer than Jake had expected. After awhile, Jess gave up and curled up against Jake, falling asleep almost immediately.

  About an hour later, Jake nudged Jess. “Honey, it’s time to get up. She’s ready.”

  Jess rubbed her eyes. Everything was kind of blurry and it took her a minute to remember where she was. When she did, she bolted upright and scurried around to the other side, wanting to see everything. She should have been disgusted, birth was a messy process, but she was enchanted instead. She watched the mare labor and push, bringing a new life into the world. This time Jake didn’t even have to do anything. They just watched, staying close in case she needed help. When the foal was out, Jake checked the mare over while they waited for the foal to make it up onto shaky legs. Jake looked underneath, confirming that it was indeed a colt. Then they left, leaving mother and son to bond.

  On the way back to the house, Jess felt her eyes tearing up again. Damn it! She never cried, and now twice in one night. She swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. She was sure Jake had seen the tears. Thankfully, he didn't ask about the cause. She wasn't entirely sure she could have explained it if he had.

  When they got into the house, he scrubbed his hands, Jess following suit. Then he turned and headed up the stairs. Since they went up the back stairs they got to her room first. She turned to head in, but he grabbed her hand and tugged. Jake hugged her. No kissing, nothing sexual at all. He just held her to him, his face buried in her hair. Jess wrapped her arms around his waist and held on. She got hugs from Mike and even Cindy occasionally, but never before had she wanted to hold on and never let go. She felt the need to tell him she loved him pour through her body. It felt like an almost physical effort to hold the words in.

  After long minutes, he pulled back, leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips. “Good night, Jess. Sleep well.”

  As he turned and headed to his room, Jess stood there, pressing her fingers to her lips. How could there be so much passion in one kiss and nothing but tenderness in another? How could he grab her to him one time, and hold her so softly the next? And how could her heart melt for both? Oh God, she was in trouble!

  * * * * *

  Jake got in bed intending to sleep, but knowing it wouldn’t come. He loved her. On some level that realization terrified him, as he would expect. What he didn’t expect was the sense of peace, of purpose he felt mixed in with the fear. Even knowing that she could rip his heart out in ways Karen never could have, it felt absolutely right to love her. Tomorrow he would go into Evanston. He needed to find a ring. With sudden certainty he knew he would propose. Not right away of course. He wanted to give her time, let her fall in love with him. But he would earn her love. He would be ki
nd, gentle. And she would come to love him. She had to. Because he wasn’t entirely sure he could live without her.

  Chapter 23

  The last few days had been weird. Jess couldn’t think of another way to describe it. Ever since the night in the barn, Jake had been acting strange. He seemed to be almost tiptoeing around her. He wasn’t avoiding her or anything, so she didn’t think he was angry over the Mike thing. But he wasn’t being himself either. He was being, well, weird. He was opening doors for her, pulling out chairs. They’d taken the horses out last night after dinner, and he’d been ridiculously polite. She had even tried to start an argument, just a little one, over his favorite author. And he’d said, “Well, maybe you’re right.”

  She wasn’t right. She knew she wasn’t right. The author was actually quite talented at spinning a murder mystery. He’d kept her awake and jumping at shadows on more than one occasion. She’d called him pedestrian and predictable. And Jake had agreed! She had no idea what was going on, but she didn’t like it.

  Mike saw her stomping around the home site, looking for something to do. Rather than a greeting, he tossed out, “Hey gorgeous, who pissed in your coffee this morning?”

  She turned and glared at him. She knew it wasn’t really Mike she was mad at, but she was in no mood for his sarcasm. “Apparently the same person that gave you your stupid pill.”

  Mike laughed. How dare he laugh? She wasn’t being funny. There was nothing funny about this. “Why the hell are you laughing?”

  He laughed harder, trying to squeeze out words at the same time. “I’m guessing you and Jake had a fight this morning and didn’t have time for makeup sex? ’Cuz you are mighty cranky.”

  “No, no and shut up!”

  Mike stopped laughing as he tried to translate that. “No fight?” She glared over at him. “Then what’s your deal? Apparently no sex either, or you would be in a much better mood. Unless he’s doing it totally wrong.”