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Page 12


  She turned back to him, “So, were there any rooms that really popped out at you? Any cabinet styles or colors you really liked?”

  “Yeah, I found one I liked.” He turned around and walked back to the kitchen she’d admired. When he stopped in front of the kitchen she loved, she felt the hackles rise on the back of her neck. Before she could stop the words, she heard herself saying, “No, I don’t think this would work for you. Not with that house.”

  “But you like it. I saw you. This was the only one that drew any sort of response from you at all.”

  “Yes, I like the kitchen. But this is not about me. This is about you. You have to live and cook there. Well, live at least. Marsha has to cook, but I’ll make sure she’s involved in choosing the appliances. Although, with a double oven, like this one, and the Viking cook top and fridge, you can’t go wrong. But the cabinets, color choice and style need to be what you like. So choose.”

  “I did choose. I like this one. Although, maybe a different color countertop. So, let’s go find somebody and we can order what we need.”

  She actually agreed with the counter comment. She would go with concrete, done in a dark warm color. To offset the distressed antiqued white cabinetry. Wait, no…

  “No, pick something else.” She knew she sounded childish, but for some reason having him choose her favorite kitchen upset her. Maybe she would redo her kitchen when she got home, then she could justify it. Although, her house was really too modern for the antique kitchen. But she would not let him choose that kitchen.

  “I will not pick something else just because you say so. Why should I? You told me to pick what I liked, and this is it. Now, find a sales person so we can order it!”

  They were standing in the middle of the store, and their fight was escalating. Soon, they would be yelling. With forced politeness and a calm she didn't feel, she said, “Jake, I would really appreciate it if you would just look around and pick your favorite. This is your house, not mine. And, contrary to my being here today, I am not a designer.”

  “No, I’m going to find a sales rep and order these cabinets! You might want to participate to make sure we get the right sizes.” He turned and headed toward the front of the store.

  She ran around him and jumped in front of him. “Why won’t you pick something else? Yes, I like that one, but that shouldn’t matter. Why are you being so stubborn about this?” Great, now she was whining like a two year old. She couldn’t help rolling her eyes.

  “I don’t know. I just want you to like it, okay? Now, move so I can go and order this!”

  Even though he’d screamed at her, even though it made no sense, she got a warm feeling in the pit of her stomach.

  She knew she should stand firm, make him order something different. Order something he liked, not her choice. And yet she found herself giving all the measurements to the design center. Then they went and picked the flooring, again the one she thought was best. By the time they left, they had the flooring chosen, the kitchen done, including appliances, the countertop concrete, color picked. They’d also picked the tile and fixtures for the master bathroom. Including the tile for the walk-in shower and a giant whirlpool tub, both big enough for two.

  They had fought and argued and eventually ended up with choices she loved for everything. She just hoped, truly hoped, that Jake liked all of it. She was very worried that he was just letting her pick everything, and she had to keep reminding herself that this was not, never would be, her house.

  As they walked out of the store, Jake commented that it was almost five p.m. and neither of them had eaten any lunch. "I know, but we got so much done. A couple more trips and we should have everything. We only have six more bathrooms, window coverings, area rugs..."

  Jake interrupted her. “Yeah, okay. But not today. Right now I need food. So, where do you want to go for dinner? My treat. Anything you want.”

  Jess smiled. She’d actually enjoyed most of the day. Other than the very confusing beginning, the part where even she didn't understand her behavior, it’d been a lot better than she’d thought it would be. She knew they needed to talk about things, but maybe not just yet. “How about a steak house? I would love a good medium rare and a baked potato.”

  Jake smiled back, took her hand, kissed her fingertips and led her to the truck. “I know just the place.”

  Dinner was amazing. Wonderful food, nice atmosphere, a couple of glasses of wine. Jess had wine anyway. Jake was driving them back so he had soda. And the company was wonderful. Jake was back to being nice to her. She was totally confused by the change in attitude, but more than willing to accept the tentative offer of peace. Being with him was much like she imagined it would be to ride a yo-yo.

  They talked about the ranch. They had another foal due soon, another one of Satan’s offspring. They talked about the new house, her projected timeline, how things were going. They talked about movies they liked, movies they didn’t. Books. She found that when they weren’t screaming at each other, they got along really well.

  She asked about his family and found his heart. He loved his parents, genuinely and unreservedly. He also loved Cody, although he thought it was time for him to settle down a little bit. Quit the rodeo life and come back to the ranch. Cody had always planned to build a house on Morgenstern land when he retired. Jake mentioned that maybe Jess would help Cody with his house when the time came. Jess nodded, knowing she would be back in Austin. And, unless Cody had the kind of money and pull Jake had, there was no way her boss was sending her back to Wyoming. As she listened to him talk, telling her memories of his childhood, she let her mind wander. She realized that she really liked Wyoming. She liked the small town bar, the neighborly feel, everyone was so friendly. She liked Evanston. It was big city convenience, small town charm. And she loved the mountains, the views. As she thought about that, she got an idea. As the idea took root, she realized it had been silently brewing for quite awhile. As dinner wound down, it began to float around, pushing its way to the front. It held more and more appeal.

  When they got in the truck to head home, it was after eight, but it was still light outside. They were going to drive into the sunset. She knew this time alone would be the perfect chance to talk, but she really didn’t want to ruin this day. It had been a rough morning, but an amazingly great afternoon. She decided to let it go a little longer, wondering just how long she could avoid the confrontation.

  They listened to music, amicably arguing over which station. Jess preferred hard eighties and nineties rock, the hair band era. Jake, of course, preferred country. They both liked classical, although it wasn’t what either was in the mood for. They settled on new country, which had a little more rock to it. By the time they got home, the sun had set, most everyone was in bed, the house was quiet. She checked her watch, it was almost ten o’clock.

  Chapter 20

  When they got into the house, Jake found that he wasn’t quite ready to let her go. When she turned to face him, he knew she was going to say good night, so he said the first thing that came to mind to keep her with him a little longer. “Let’s watch a movie.”

  She looked down at her watch again. “Don’t you need to get up in like five hours or something? I’ll just go to bed. We can watch a movie another time. Thanks though, for today. I know you’re busy, but we needed to get that stuff done. We need to go again, maybe early next week if you can spare the time, to finish at least the tile choices for the bathrooms. I’m leaving in about seven weeks, for a week or so, but I can…”

  “Wait, you’re leaving? You were supposed to stay until the house was done. You can’t leave!”

  “I can leave, but if you would quit yelling at me, I would tell you that I’m coming back! My sister’s having a baby, I’m going home for the birth, whether you approve or not.”

  Jake took a deep breath as the panic started to subside. He knew he would wonder later why he’d panicked, but for right now it was enough to know that she wasn’t leaving for good.
r />   He thought about dragging her off to his room. Wanted to have her in his bed. He needed to hold her, to have her in his arms. But he knew that if he did, it wouldn’t just be holding. He wouldn’t be able to stop himself from thrusting inside her. And they needed to take it a little slower. Today was proof enough of that.

  Forcing himself to calm down, to control his flaring temper, he took her hand and dragged her up to her bedroom door.

  “Since we live in the same house, I can’t exactly drop you off at your front door. This will have to do.”

  “I really had a good time today, Jake. Honestly. But, there’s a lot we need to talk…”

  “I know. We’ll talk tomorrow. It’s late and it’s been a good day. Let’s not spoil it. Let me just kiss you goodnight and go to bed.” Where I’ll dream of burying my aching cock inside your wet heat. Thinking of her in his bed reminded him of the one night she’d been there. And what she’d left behind. “Wait here just a minute.” He backpedaled and headed to his room.

  He smiled when he saw that she had actually waited for him. He held her red bra up in front of her. She groaned, covering her eyes with her hands.

  He chuckled softly. “You left this in my room. I figured you might want it back since it matched the panties. So, tell me… do they always match? I’ve been dying to know. And is red the normal color, or was that just because of the night out?”

  When she swiftly lifted her shirt, not off, just high enough to show her bra and beautiful breasts, Jake was shocked. He sucked in a breath, taking in her deep purple lace bra, the nipples already pressed against it. He looked up to see her smile, slow and sexy, spread across her face.

  He ran his hand down her side, stopping at the waist band of her jeans. “Do the panties match?” He hooked his fingers into the waist, sliding them around until he reached the snap. He fully expected her to stop him.

  She didn’t. He unsnapped her jeans, sliding the zipper down until he could see the front of her matching lace panties.

  Then he groaned. “They always match?” She nodded. “Are they always lace?” She nodded again. He groaned louder this time. “God! Better than my dreams.” He slid his fingers down, into the top edge of her panties. Two fingers dipped down into her curls.

  At her deep inhalation, Jake watched desire fire in her eyes. Slowly, he leaned in until his mouth was less than a hair’s breadth from hers. He waited a heartbeat before finally touching his lips to hers.

  The kiss started soft and slow, Jake hadn’t planned on it going any further than that. And then she whimpered, pressing her body closer to his. The desire he’d been denying since that first kiss—hell, since she’d walked into his office—rose to the surface, drowning out his good intentions. He ran his hands up, sliding his thumbs along the bottom of her breasts, deepening the kiss, plunging his tongue into her mouth. She rolled her hips toward him, no idea how close he was to taking her right there in the hall. He ripped his mouth off hers, stepping back and pulling in deep breaths.

  She fell back against her closed door, her little whimper tearing at his tenuous control.

  “Tomorrow. We’ll take the horses out, pack a picnic, and we’ll talk.”

  “Okay,” she answered. “We’ll talk.”

  “Go in your room Jess, before I change my mind.” He was bent over, hands on his thighs, still trying to calm his breathing.

  She slipped into her room, closing the door softly behind her. As a precaution, Jake called out "Lock it," before heading down to his room.

  * * * * *

  The next morning, Jess wandered into the kitchen and aimed straight for the coffee. She managed a nod at Marsha. For some reason this made Marsha laugh, loudly, as she wandered out of the kitchen muttering something about “stupid kids not knowing love if it bit ’em in the butt.” Jess shook her head and made a plate of food, then refilled her coffee. She needed a lot of coffee today. She had slept a little, but even her sleep was plagued with dreams again. Sexy, erotic, amazing dreams. They were nice, but not particularly restful. And she woke still on the razor’s edge of desire.

  She headed outside about ten with the picnic lunch she’d packed from leftovers. She found Jake in the stables, already saddling horses. He looked fit to be tied. Maybe this wasn’t a good time to talk. She wouldn’t mind rescheduling herself. She wasn’t feeling particularly chatty. More inclined to jump him than talk about it. She sighed.

  He turned when he heard the sigh. He looked her over from head to toe, smiled a wicked grin and asked, “How’d you sleep?”

  She looked up, glared at him, then slid into ice mode. “Fine, thank you. And you?”

  He laughed like she’d just told the best joke ever. He walked over, swung her into a hug and landed a quick kiss on her forehead. “I didn’t sleep at all. And neither did you. Let’s go. I saddled Lady for you.” He swung up into his saddle and headed out without waiting to see if Jess followed.

  Jess put their lunch into the saddle bags and hopped into the saddle. She smiled. His moods were definitely a roller coaster, but it might be worth the ride.

  They rode hard for almost an hour following different trails all around the ranch, and ended up in a gorgeous shady area by a stream. If her sense of direction was holding true, they were a little north of the new home site, but on the same stream.

  He led the horses down to the water while she laid out the blanket and set out their lunch. They sat down and ate leftover chicken, potato salad and biscuits, all in a relaxed, companionable silence, unlike the angry nervousness of the morning before. When they were both done, they packed up the lunch and lay back on the blanket, enjoying the heat of the day.

  Finally Jake spoke up, diving in without preamble. “So, I was married before.”

  “Yeah, Cody mentioned it, although no details. Can you tell me what happened?”

  “Yeah. It was pretty simple actually. I wanted to be married. I always had, kind of. Wanted marriage, kids, the whole nine. My parents were happily married, so I knew what I wanted from watching them. When I met Karen, I thought it was love. In retrospect, I’m not sure I’ve ever really been in love. It was almost too easy to let her go. I think I was more disillusioned than heartbroken. But I was pissed either way. I really thought she loved me. It turned out that what I thought was love, was. Just not for me. She loved my money. And she wanted me to leave the ranch and take her away from here. Small town life was not for her. When I said no, told her I was never leaving the ranch, she started having affairs. Lots of them. There are at least four that I know of, although she told me there were more. She might have just been trying to hurt me, I'll never know for sure.”

  “Jake, I’m so sorry.” Jess really had no idea what to say to him. There were no words for something like that. She didn't have a lot of experience with the kind of real love he was talking about his parents having, but she also had no experience with the kind of heartbreak he'd been through.

  “It’s okay, it was over four years ago. Anyway, the worst was when Cody came to me and told me she’d come on to him. I didn’t believe him. I thought he was just trying to ruin my marriage. We fought...brutally. But something in the way he kept insisting it was true made a dent. I asked her about it the next day. Things blew up. She admitted it was true, all of it. I told her I wanted a divorce. She told me she wanted money.” He shrugged, like that explained everything.

  “So, you paid her off?”

  “Yeah, I paid her off. It was easier than having to deal with lawyers and courts. I gave her one million dollars to go away and never come back. She took it. It took less than two months for the divorce to be finalized. I had her served in California. It could have been worse. Cody forgave me for not believing him without me even having to ask. My parents retired and I took over the ranch. And now, four years later, here we are.”

  “Jake, I’m sorry. I really am. It’s not enough, but…” She looked over, placing her hand over his where it rested next to his leg. He wrapped his fingers around hers and squ
eezed.

  “I just need you to understand. The flip out over Mike?” She nodded. “Yeah, that was a little bit of a flashback. I didn’t even know I could get that angry. I’ve never been the jealous type.”

  “That wasn’t what you think. It was because he ignored the eyes.”

  “What?”

  “That day, I decided not to put in my contacts. In fact, I threw them away. And when I got to the house site, everyone stared at me. Instead of asking about it, or saying anything, Mike just said ‘Hey’, and led me into the kitchen. After awhile, everyone else followed his lead and didn’t ask any questions. The hug was just because he’d understood. That’s what you saw, not what you thought it was.”

  Jake looked chagrined. “When I saw your eyes, it made it worse. The only time I’d ever seen you without your contacts was when we were…when we…did…were, uh, intimate. Seeing you with him, like that, I kind of lost it. It didn’t look romantic, even then, but it was too much. He’s in love with you. You know that right?”

  “Mike? He’s not in love with me. Not really. He might think he is, or wish he could be. But he’s not. We tried dating back in college. Up until you, he got further than anyone ever has. But, there was nothing there. The proof is that we could stay friends after. If you love someone, you can’t be friends after. At least, I couldn’t.”

  “I’ll apologize for being so angry, and for not asking what was going on. But, I can’t apologize for the jealousy. I find I’m very possessive of you. I won’t share.”